To think you were my cure
by DogOnALeash
Summary: Your name is Karkat Vantas. You don't know when this all began, or how it is going to end. All you know is, you're disgusting. The scum of the earth. So what do you do when your moirail/best friends new boyfriend walks into your life and reveals something you never knew? Will yous be able to help eachother? Or will it all come crashing down around you? - First ever Fanfiction
1. When did all this begin?

Your fingers dance over the cold metal blade, daring you to pick it up. You don't _want_ to...But you feel you need to. You feel disgusted with yourself. Everything about you was disgusting... At least...That's what they all told you. Everyday, of every hour, of every minute of every second. They never missed a beat. Making sure you knew how disgusting and worthless you truly are every single fucking day. Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you are truly disgusting.

== Lets start with the beginning, maybe?

You don't know when it all began. Maybe it was when your mother left yous? Or when your father left yous, leaving you to be brought up by your elder brother, Kankri. You didn't know. You didn't want to know. You remember the first day you had brought the metal blade down upon soft flesh though. It hurt but felt so good at the same time. You remembered you had sat and watched the crimson blood run down your arms, hitting the floor for a good 12 minutes before Kankri began banging on the bathroom door, snapping you from your 'trance' and quickly rushing to lock the door, hitting it with enough force to make your brother fall back onto the floor and you to seriously damage your shoulder and ribs. How you forgot to lock the damned door you'll never know. And oh boy do you remember the fucking ra-You mean.._Talk_..Kankri gave you about being "Rude".

Eventually everyone forgot about it. You went to school, did your work got good grades and made your friends smile. All in all, you were happy. Then...Then you..You saved him. That's what counts. Right? ...Right? You knew he had problems. That much was obvious when you's first talked online. He would...just...change. It didn't worry you, You never even thought much of it. You didn't really like the guy to be honest, even if hadn't met him. Then when you finally did meet him face to face for the first time...You noticed the pain. The sadness, the hurt...The cry for help in his features. Your best friend/moirail's boyfriend, who had become your annoying-never-stops-rapping-or-pissing-you-off-an d-don't-really-like-him-strifing idiot of an online, dare you say it... _FRIEND_...of a few weeks to the point you met him, had hid so much. He looked upset when you first met him, you first picked up on it and looked to your moirail but he quickly shook his head and said he didn't want to talk about it. You had shrugged it off as something in school but it wasn't, Was it? You had picked up on how his friend continuously asked if he was okay and that he'd always be here if he need to talk. And yet again, you shrugged this off as school problems. The day went by and you's all have a pretty good day...sort of.

You fucking _HATED_ him.

Him and his fucking mirror shades which hid his eyes to his stupidly perfect white hair (just like yours if you might add) to his fuck ton of bracelets plastered up his arm. You hated him. YOU HATE HATE HATE HATED HIM. And you didn't even know _why_.

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you truly HATE Dave Strider. And you've no idea why.

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**EDIT: Fixed up some spelling mistakes.**


	2. Finding out

**Writers comment: HEY GUYS! Sorry this took so long :/ Pretty bad weekend... sorry the chapters are also poorly written and short. This is taken from my life (When I met my friend and how our relationship develped)... Its pretty depressing so yea sorry))**

**Chapter 2: Finding out.**

You didn't talk to Dave much after that...Nor did you see him again. You went about your life in school and outside of it.

Now, to say you were "happy" would be lying. You were really worried about him. But why? You hated him did you not?

"YES!" You growled at yourself. "Then why am I so worried..." You sighed and rubbed your temples, grabbing your laptop and pushing away your long over due course work.

It could wait, this couldn't.

You logged into skype and quickly pulled open a conversation with your best friend.

**== Pester your "best friend" and fail at writing a skype conversation.**

**Karkat Vantas ** GAMZEE. _04:30_

**Karkat Vantas ** GAMZEE YOU FUCKING IDIOT, ANSWER ME THIS INSTANT AND PUT DOWN THE WEED. 0_4:30_

**Karkat Vantas ** THIS IS ABOUT YOUR "OTHER HALF". _04:31_

**Gamzee :o) **HeY mY sHoRt HoT hEaDeD fRiEnD :o) _04:34 _

**Gamzee :o) ** wOw MoThErFuCkEr _04:34 _

**Gamzee :o) **WhAtS wRoNg? :o? _04:34_

**Karkat Vantas **I HAVE A QUESTION YOU BRAINLESS FUCKING IDIOT THAT I CALL A BEST FRIEND. _04:35_

**Karkat Vantas ** ITS..ABOUT STRIDER _04:35_

**Karkat Vantas **HE SEEMS REALLY FUCKING DEPRESSED...AND I KNOW YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT, BUT SHIT I'M WORRIED ABOUT THE GUY. _04:35_

**Karkat Vantas **I'M NOT TRYING TO LIKE, PRY INTO YOUR PERSONAL FUCKING LIFE AND PLAY DOCTOR BUT I DON'T KNOW. _04:35_

**Karkat Vantas ** I'M WORRIED...AND I *MIGHT* EVEN GO AS FAR TO CALL HIM MY... _04:35_

**Karkat Vantas** FRIEND... _04:35_

**Gamzee :o)** I've been waiting for this conversation. _04:36_

**Karkat Vantas ** GAMZEE YOU'VE STOPPED USING YOUR QUIRK... _04:36_

**Gamzee :o) **Chill brother :o) This story is serious. _04:36 _

**Gamzee :o)** See. Dave acts like a complete cool kid, like nothing in the world could possibly bother him. But hes just putting on an act. You seen how his friend kept comforting him, and how I did too. Hes going through a lot, Karkat. I would of told you all this but...I know you're going through the same- _04:36_

Wait what? No...He..He can't be hinting at THAT. Thats...no...please fucking no.

**Gamzee :o)** - hes getting pretty badly bullied in school, at home and in his neighbour hood. Its really motherfucking bad karbro :o( And there is nothing I can up and do. I feel like such a rubbish boyfriend when he calls me crying :o( I cried a few times with him...Its really bad bro. He...Oh gog this is really hard to tell...He self harms karbro...And its really really bad..and I can't do anything to stop him. I've tried...shit I really have but fuck he won't motherfucking up and listen to me. _04:36_

You sit back from your laptop and let the new information sink in. Hes getting bullied...You knew that much. He had told you. But you didn't know it was THAT bad. Fuck now you felt like a shit friend. You quickly pull the chat back up and quickly type;

**Karkat Vantas** I HAVE TO GO. I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER. _04:36_

You quickly sign out, grab you phone and walk out of your house and down to the train station.


	3. The train station

**Artist comment: So this chapter is going to be even worse then the last two as; my memory is pretty fuzzy on this whole event, I don't sleep very often (I suffer from really bad nightmares about my child hood) and if i'm not sleeping i'm helping a friend so its hard to find enough time to write and do other things (I don't usually write I draw so I suck...) So i'm really tired when I write this so i'm very very sorry :c Now, Onwards to the crappy story!**

**Chapter 3 - The train station**

By the time you had gotten to the train station, you were a shaking crying mess. You were thanking the Gods above for it being late and that only a few tired buisness men were in the train station, hurrying along to get the train.

You pay for your ticket and sit down. What the hell were you doing? You were going to have a panic attack or worse, another anxiety attack. Why the fuck didn't you bring your phone with you? You could of called Gamzee until your stop came up. Gog you're an idiot. He doesn't even know why you're coming up. "Fuck does he even know I _am _coming up?" You mentally scold yourself then thank the Gods _again_ that they have an internet connection on the train. "At least they can do _SOMETHING_ right in this fucking town." You mutter as you log into Skype once more.

Oh. Daves on. What will you do?

**Karkat Vantas ** GAMZEE. _05:00_

**Karkat Vantas ** I'M ON THE FUCKING TRAIN, COMING UP TO YOU. 0_5:00_

**Karkat Vantas **COME GET ME AT THE STATION, ASSHOLE. _05:00_

You don't even bother to wait for a reply, just sign out and turn up your music louder as the train begins to move. You ignore the people around you and focus on staring out the window willing your racing heart to calm its self before it explodes inside your chest. You take in a deep breath and brush your white hair over your eyes. Oh did you mention that your were albino? No? Well you did now. "Please be okay...Please please please be okay.." You think over and over in your head. You don't know why you felt like this. You thought you hated the "cool kid". So why do you want to wrap him up in a blanket and hold him close to your chest? To protect him from the nasty world around him as you fight off the demons which are trying to take away the little string of hope he has left in his blackening world. Why do you feel this...You wanted some answers! NOW! And you were pretty sure that wikipedia didn't have them this time!

You had fought these demons before and won. But they were not yours. They were the ones which haunt your _friends_ lives. You had came and sliced them up, carried the light to show them the way out of the dark. Your demons couldn't be killed. Or as Oli from BMTH said; **"I can't drown my demons they know how to swim."** This quote fitted your own demons perfectly. They plague your mind and dreams. They whisper the devils words into your ear and laugh like mad men in your head when you mess up. They hide in the corners of your room and haunt you. They replay your childhood and the events which had happened, laughing at you and telling you how you had deserved it it. They make sure to tell you how worthless you really are. That the friends you call family only keep you around because you can fix their lives, That you can pick up the pieces and tie them neatly with a little red bow. You were just a broken toy in the toy box. No one loved you, no one wanted you anymore. And you had finally come to terms with that.

You frown down at your ipod. Of course it was playing one of your favourite bands; BMTH (Bring Me The Horizon) and one of your most favourite songs by them; It never ends. Funny how it fits your situation perfectly.

You glance up as the woman annouces you were now at Belfast Central Station. You sigh and stand up, cracking your aching bones and walk off the train and head up the stairs to the station. "Fuck escalators." You mutter. Once you did finally get past the people at the desk you quickly run to your best friend and hug him as tight as you could. You were not crying. Nope. Not again. Not at all.

"Well hey there motherfucker." Gamzee gave you a lazy smile as you pulled away, wipin- GOG DAMNIT YOU'RE NOT CRYING. "Whats with the surprise visit bro?" He tilts his head at you like a dog and you just simply walk on, grabbing his sleeve as you pass. "No reason..." You mutter. _***Lying again~ Hes going to see right through that one. No wonder they all hate you.***_ The voice in your head coos and you have to try your hardest not to fall to your knees and scream in agony. They hurt so much.

You glance back up at Gamzee who smiles down at you. You frown in return and go back to staring at the ground. Lets just hope he doesn't pick you up and see what they did to you again.

Gamzee and you walked straight to were you's always went when you came up for a "surprise visit". Botanic gardens. You's had walked in mostly silence, the only sound coming from Gamzee as he talked about all the "motherfucking miracles bro" and when you's stopped outside the Students Union to talk about Q-CON (The place you's had met.) When you's FINALLY got to Botanic Gardens and sat down in the bandstand you spoke up. They were screaming at you again. Telling you how much he hates you, how much he would love to kill you. How useless and pathetic you were. And you were trying your hardest not to break down screaming and crying.

"Gamzee.." You started, looking up to the indigo eyed boy. Tears filled your vision and you tried hard to fight them back, pleading with yourself not to look so weak infront of him. "I'm so fucking sorry...I didn't mean to do it...I..." And you were crying again.

"I let my guard down..."


	4. The colourless world

**Artist comment: Sorry the update took so long. See most people would be like "Sorry having a life sucks :(" But I don't have a life beyond my computer games and comics. I'm just really lazy. Also big thanks to my friend shadowexcallbp255 for giving me the chapter idea! I owe you! You should look him up hes really cool! **

**== Be the cool kid**

Where are you? You look around, taking in the dark fuzzy surroundings.

You get yourself up from the floor. If you could call it that. It looks like water but its not wet yet it doesn't seem like it has a solid face either. Are you even making _sense_ anymore? You don't think you are.

You look around once more and squint as you try to focus on the fuzzy shifting objects. Are those _feathers?_ You take a step forward to examine them and frown. Why are feathers here? And where even was "_here"_? You reach out to grab one of the shiny black 'feathers' when suddenly the 'floor' gives way underneath you and you're plumated into darkness.

Your falling. Just like Alice falling down the rabbit hole. Your shades have long gone exposing your red eyes. You reach out your hands to grab onto something to stop yourself but you catch nothing but air. You want to scream for help but nothing comes out of your mouth. Your eyes search frantically around the dark as you keep on falling through, what you would call a starless sky. You can hear something...It sounds like.. No...Oh gog _please no!_ The next minute, the scene has changed again.

You're now in a room. Its white walls give of a depressing scene, the pale light spilling in from the window seems more grey than anything. You look away to scan your eyes around the room. It seems so familiar yet so strange. You felt out of place in the sickenly grey and white room.

You walk out of the room and into another, it looks like a bedroom or at least a spare room. And just like the last room, it is also drained of its colour. You turn away from the colourless room and grimace. It made you feel sick. You stood out so much with your bright coloured clothes. You stare at the blank walls then walk out into another blank walled room. You were feeling sick. Maybe it was because the walls remind you of yourself..Blank, empty and colourless. No one cared to brighten you up and the sun hid from you like a demon in the darkness waiting to pounce. Nothing around you seemed to want you there. You were just this blank form of a human being walking around as it tried to find a purpose in its lonely boring life so it would have colour and a reason to actually BE THERE. You were never going to find your purpose in life. You were never going to find your artist. And you had come to terms with having no colours, except for your clothing. They were to just cover up the fact that you had not met your artist yet and that you honestly were a waste of life. You had nothing.

You walk into another bedroom, but this one doesn't feel like the rest...It feels like there is a presence but you can not see it. You hold your stomach and grimace again as you feel the all too familar urge to vomit. You quickly run to the bathroom and fall to your knees, but nothing comes up. You sit there for a few minutes before you slowly pull yourself to stand back up and walk to the bathroom mirror. Its foggy so you wipe it with your sleeve and nearly fall back. Staring back at you is, well you. But everything is..._wrong._ Your eyes aren't there and your mouth has been stitched up. You raise a hand to your mouth and gently feel the stitches. They're rough under your touch and hurt when pressure is applied. You shake your head and stumble back to the bath getting caught in the curtian and fall back into the damned thing, successfully hitting your head on the tiled wall adding to your pain. You're in something...and something is underneath you. You slowly turn your head to your left and instantly you want to scream your lungs out. The **THING** underneath you is the legs of your best friend. He slowly turns his bloody head to you and calls out your name in a broken voice which has a slight sound of static added in. Like a forgotten station on the radio. He reaches a hand out to you and thats when you notice the 'water' you're in isn't water at all. Its the blood _from his fucking body_. You stare at the boy again, taking in the cuts along his arms and throat, the bandages sloppily covering his eye sockets and the cut open mouth. You scramble to get out of the bath, removing his hands from you. You run out of the bathroom, not daring to glance back at the eyeless and bandaged boy in the bath.

You fall and slip many times, leaving red marks as you run through the hall ways of this...Where ever you are. You run into another room but this time its walls are not empty. They're covered and you mean **COVERED** in writing and posters. You look at the writing then step back towards the door only to slam your back into it. You can hear that sound again...the one from when you were free falling down to hell. You swallow and stare at the walls as you listen to the sound. You let your head slowly turn to the darkened corner of the room and instantly wish you couldn't really see. How could you see without any fucking eyes is beyond you. You want to scream and turn away but the stitches that are criss crossing through your mouth seem to tighten and your body has frozen up like death has wrapped its cloak around you. Your stomach churns and you get the urge to vomit again.

You didn't want to be here. You wanted to wake up and forget this fucking memory. Its not fair! You tried your fucking hardest to save them! You scramble to your feet and stare at the body that hung in the shadows which seem to wrap around it, pushing it slowly back an forth on the rope from which it hung. Hes staring at you with blank eyes and a pained expression has sketched itself into his ghostly white skin. Hes mouthing something but no voice comes from his mouth just words spill out and inprint on your skin. You claw at them as you try your hardest to make them vanish. They burn and you want to scream your lungs out again. Your skin feels like it is on fire as more and more words burn into you. You try to back up more but stumble backwards as the door swings open and something latches onto your ankles tripping you, you land hard on your chest and smacks the air out of your lungs. You turn your head back to look at the thing that had captured you. Its the thing from the bathroom... He chokes out insults and blames you for what had happened as he drags you back into the shadows of taunting stares and instults. You feel something running down your cheeks but you can't register what it is...And to be honest? You didn't want to know what it was. You dig your nails into the flooring as he drags you into the dark which swallows yous both up, along with whatever colour you had in your pathetic life.

**Sorry this chapter sucked :/ Took a few hours to type up and i'm pretty sleep deprived Sorry**


	5. Red and Indigo

**Artist comment: Look an update! This sucks even more than the last few chapters and i'm still not sorry. Well i'm sort of sorry for not updating heh...Was sort of caught up in art and getting "better" as well as looking after my Madre and friends. *Long sigh* Life is a bitch.**

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**Are you still the cool kid? Yes? Oh. ==**

You wake up in a cold sweat and the first thing you hear is screaming. Who the hell is screaming at this hour? Oh wait. Thats you dumbass.

After you do eventually came down from your "episode" the first person you can think of even calling is Karkat...Not your boyfriend... Which confuses you but you just go with it anyway. You and Karkat had gotten a lot closer. Well, online at least. You haven't seen him since the day yous met and that was weeks ago. You rub at your temples and groan. "Why am I so worried about you?" You mumble to yourself. "You hate me..."

You shove away anymore pestering and confusing thoughts about the small ball of hate and secrets and grab your phone. You chew on your bottom lip as your finger hovers over the call button. Why are you so nervous all of a sudden? Hes only your friend. Who you vent to. All the time... "Shit Dave pull yourself together. He said hes always going to here for you!" You growl at yourself and hit the call button.

You wait _ "He'll pick up..."_ and wait _"Maybe he just hasn't heard it yet..."_ and wait _"He promised...". _Eventually you just give up and hang up, sighing in defeat. Why did you feel so let down? Was it because he broke his promise? Must be.

You walk to your bathroom and stare at the boy staring back at you. You frown and look away. "Disgusting." You look down at your bare arms and sigh. "Hideous." You pick up the silver demon and sit on the floor. "Worthless."

**BACK TO THE DEPRESSION KID AND THE HIGH IDIOT IN THE BANDSTAND ==**

Indigo stares into red, full of hurt and confusion. You're first to break eye contact with the tall lanky boy infront of you, staring off to the side as you pull your hoodie sleeves down more. You didn't want to tell him but it was eating away at your insides like acid. You don't say anything and he doesn't either. Just takes in the information and slowly processes it. You shift uncomfortably as you wait for you friend to finally come out of his shock and speak. The silence was killing you and you can hear the faint calls of your demons. You can hear them laughing and calling your name out. You want to curl up in a ball and scream until you can't hear them anymore and go numb. But you _can't._ All because you're frozen in place under the intense stare of those indigo eyes. Ones that held so much laughter and happiness, now drowned in saddness and betrayal. And it was all _your _fault. "G-Gamzee I-" He cuts you off as he gently takes a hold of your arm and lifts it up, pushing the sleeve up past your elbow to examine what yo- what _THEY_ had done.

You whince slightly and push away the urge to pull back your arm and cover it all up again. Like you always did. Instead, You bite down on your lower lip as he traces the bandages covering your arm with his thumb careful that he didn't put too much pressure down to hurt you. "Where else?" He looks up at you and you just couldn't lie to him. "No where...just there..It was just a slip up I...I..." You hang your head in defeat. They were right...You were worthless and weak. "I'm sorry..." You whisper but what is the point? That word has been used so much over the years it has lost its true meaning and became just another empty word. And are you _really_ even sorry? You didn't know. You think you are but...You look back up at him. He smiles down at you then gets up, pulling you up to your feet and tangling you in a tight hug. You smile softly and hug him back as tight as you could. No words needed to be even said, he knew you were sorry even if it was only you who was still questioning it. He lets you go all too soon and smiles down at you. You offer him a fake smile back which you know he sees through but doesn't push the matter. You could still hear them laughing. But this time, you were laughing with them.

**Lets skip a few hours as I can't think of anything else to write... ==**

You had left Gamzee off at his bus stop and just headed back into town. You didn't want to go home just yet "Or ever" You add. You know you'll probably end up crashing at Gamzee's or John's again. Not that they cared, they had practically become your careers. You sigh and shove you hands deeper into your hoodie pockets, watching the pavement as you walked. It was getting pretty dark and it had stopped raining by the time you and Gamzee had began heading to his bus. You were thankful for the rain and the darkening skies, It meant that hardly any people came out and you ran less of a risk of being jumped by chavs or being stared at...Or going into another axiety and panic attack. You shudder at the thought of those and quicken your pace. You were cold but so lost in thought you it didn't bother you. Did that even make sense? You didn't know, nor did you give a flying fuck at this moment in time.

You walk back to the gardens and haul yourself up and over the wall, heading back to your previous spot in the bandstand. You wanted to be alone. Well, as "alone" as you could get with the demons in your head. You frown slightly and sit down on the cold stone floor of the bandstand, crossing your legs you lift you head up to stare at the water droplets falling off the edge of the roof. If only you could wash away your problems as easy as the rain could wash away dirt. "If only..." You murmer. You shut your eyes, willing them to just quieten down for _just a few minutes. _But who are you trying to kid? They wouldn't. _Of course they wouldn't. _And why should they? They were right after all. You sigh and open your eyes as your thoughts are interupted by the annoying vibrate coming from your mobile in your pocket, telling you that someone on this damned planet was, for some fucking reason, trying to contact your sorry excuse of excistance.

You pull it out and stare at the name lighting up on the screen. You hit the answer button and shakily bring up the phone to your ear, "Dave...?"

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**I'm still not sorry for destroying such a perfect fandom/characters with my horrible writing.**


	6. Confusing thoughts and phone calls

**Writers comment: I need to remember to stop saying "Artist comment" on this. Sorry that chapters are short and poorly written. I'm not much of a writer as I have said...Quite a lot... ANYWAY. Updates are slow as my memory is incredibly fuzzy on the whole situation so i'm having to throw in random events to actually MAKE this last past 4 chapters... Really sorry guys - Kodiie/Wolfie. **

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Your name is Dave Strider. Oh. You again? Huh. Whatever.

As you were saying, for reasons that escape you...I mean, it's not like this was one of your sisters fanfic's right? No. This was _real_ life. And people were_ DEFIANTL_Y not reading this.

AS YOU WERE SAYING. Your name is Dave Strider and you're currently clutching your mobile phone so tight in your grasp you're surprised it hasn't shattered yet. You can hear Karkat repeating your name down the other end of the line over and over again, Worry slipping into his voice. You're shaking and its becoming uncomfortably hot. You swallow down your fear and stutter out a simple, "I-i'm here..." In response to the frantic albino. You hear him let out a shaky breath before going into a rant about how he thought you had "dropped fucking dead and he had have to try and find the fuck out where your sorry ass lived so he could revive you then slap you." You didn't like the sound of that.

"I was taking a piss. Did you honestly want to hear me?" You lie through your teeth but he buys it.

"NO! THAT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING-" And hes off on one again. God how you missed his voice.

"Karkat, Babe, calm the _fuck_ _down_." You cut his rant short and smile when he does stop. "I was joking with you. Do you_ know_ what a joke is? Do you need me to tell you?" He huffs and you could practically _HEAR_ the blush in his voice at the nickname.

"No fuckass...Anyway! Why the fuck did you call me?" He huffs again and you have to resist the urge of fanboying down the phone like Bro does when he watches MLP. You shudder at the simple thought of that show. Oh wait did he ask why you called? Shit you can't think of a good enough excuse. Shit shit shit.

"Bored. Gamzee wasn't picking up and John is with Jade." You bite your lip, it was a pretty weak lie but you couldn't think of something better. You swallow as you wait for what feels like hours for his reply.

"You were bored. You have a fucking laptop Strider! You have the whole fucking internet to keep you entertained, but _nooooo_! Instead you call me."

"What can I say? Porn gets boring after a while and I missed your voice babe~" You smirk as you hear him stutter then curse at you. At least it wasn't a lie this time...

"Whatever...I need to go. Getting the train back ho-"

"You're in Belfast?" You cut him off once again and you can't stop that little shred of hope that runs through you or the smile that splits across your face. You didn't know why you were so eager to see him again. Like, you_ HAVE_ a boyfriend who just _HAPPENS_ to be his best friend. You tap your finger against your mouth and chew your lower lip.

"Yes...I came up to see Gamzee..." He sounds hesitant about his answer but you don't question it.

"Where?"

"Botanic. I can't stay any longer though. Kankri needs me home."

"Oh..." Your smile drops and you feel your heart sink to your stomach. "That's okay...Talk to you online then." Before he can reply, you end the call and fall back in your chair.

Why did it hurt so much?

**Karkat, be confused about the guilty feeling that's overtaking your body ==**

You stare at your phone for a few seconds the slip it back into your pocket. Weird. Dave sounded a little let down at the fact you couldn't meet up.

You shrug off the thought but the guilty feeling sticks to you like super glue. You sigh and pull up your hood as you walk out of the bandstand and to the small train station down the road. When you get there, you walk down to your train and hope on. It doesn't take long till the train begins to move and you get pulled into a world of music and confusing thoughts.

Why did he sound so happy when he found out you were in town? Was it because you'd become one of his "best bros"? You frown and turn up your music louder as you try to drown out the thoughts and the odd feeling stirring in your chest. Of course, that didn't work.

He sounded really upset that you couldn't meet him though...Which confused you even more. It_ HAD_ to be because you's are friends. Right? Right? You sigh and stare at your reflection in the window. The answer just didn't seem to fit in. It was like a jigsaw puzzle and you just couldn't get that one piece to fit no matter how hard you tried. You rub at your temples and go back off into your thoughts, ignoring the guilt and the voices. "I just want to go home..." You whimper to yourself. Why did this have to happen? You didn't want to feel like this. You had washed the blood from your hands when you had grown up. You had done your bit! It wasn't fair. You didn't want to be reminded of all that. You had wanted to grow up, move out, get the life _YOU_ wanted. You wanted to rid yourself of the demons in your past and just move on, to beat the ones you had now and be free of their grasp. You let out a weary sigh as you find yourself back at the station..._Back home._ You didn't want to be here. But...you knew you couldn't keep running to Gamzee and John everytime you didn't want to go back to_ them. _It wasn't fair on them.

You step off the train and walk into the station, head low, white hair covering your eyes, music blasting in your ears as it blocks out the harsh reality of the real world. You snap your head up as a hand grabs your shoulder and spins you around. You look up to snap at whoever dared touch you, when you fall silent and freeze up as you catch their eyes.

_"Hello, Karkat."_

Fuck.


	7. The encounter

**Writers comment: Hey guys, sorry for the slow updates. Been a bad few weeks... The situations within these stories are slightly altered because, As I've said before, My memory is pretty fuzzy. In this, Karkat has been adopted by Kankri, His brother who was adopted at birth as their mother couldn't look after him and his elder brother due to depression and other things. His mother left him when he was a child with his abusive Father and elder brother (Both don't have names yet). Now this is going to get triggering so i'm going to put a warning in the next chapter but i'll put one here too. There's going to be talks of/about suicide, reminiscing about abusive (Sexual, Mentally and physically) child hoods and self harm. If you don't like that, then I advise you to leave this story. There's also going to be time jumps by a few months so I don't have to drag out the story any longer than it is. Hope you's are still enjoying this and forgive me for spelling errors and just in general a terrible story. - Kodiie/Wolfie.**

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**Be the scared Vantas ==**

Your name is Karkat Vantas and right now you wish the train station floor would split open and drag you down to a much better hell than the one you're in right now.

You stare at the man- No. He's not even a fucking man. He's a _MONSTER_. - in front of you. You want to scream at him, you want to rip his god damn throat out! But you're completely frozen in fear. He takes his hand off your shoulder and gives you a sickening smile before walking off onto the train. You watch him leave then stay there for another good 3 minutes before turning, running down the stairs and out the Station doors. You need to get as far away from this place as possible.

You feel tears streaming down your cheeks but you don't stop to wipe them away. You run the full 30 minutes home, slamming your bedroom door shut as soon as you get in. You can't tell Kankri why you're crying because you never told him about what had happened with that monster. You lean on your door and slowly fall to the ground as a crying mess of emotions. You put your hands over your face and grip yous fringe as you beg yourself to stop crying.

Eventually, You body does give into your pleading and you do stop crying. You sit there, staring at your window with red puffy eyes. You're shaking and you're feeling weak...Bad side effects of not taking your tablets. You sigh and get yourself onto your feet, trailing yourself over to your bed, you fall down and grab your laptop. Its well past midnight so you know Kanny will be a sleep but your Moirail should still be up. You take in a deep breath to calm your heart and quieten the voices as you hit the call button on skype.

"Heeey Motherfucker" Gamzee greets you and you instantly take in the sight cigarette between his painted lips. You grimace and take in another breath. Shit why was this so HARD TO TELL?

"G-Gamzee..." Fuck your crying again. He looks up to the web cam and his face falls into worry and sadness, "Brother...Whats wrong..?"

**"I-I ran into him Gamzee...I ran into Jason..." **

**Be the clown ==**

You're now Gamzee Makara and you've just dropped your lit cigarette onto your crotch. You swear loudly when the heat becomes to much and you quickly grab the burning cancer stick, shoving it back into between your lips.

You let the information sink in again and stare at the image of your crying best friend/moirail. You've never seen him cry this much. You've only seen him cry once when his brother_ beat him_ in front of you. You shudder at the memory. Karkat had to grab you by the hood and trail you out of the house before you grabbed his brother. Your fist tightens at the memory and you quickly try and calm your frantic Moirail.

"It is okay, Karkat...He's not here now. I know it was many years ago but you're safe now brother. No more pain can get to you." You've told him this many times before, along with some other reassuring things. It always seems to calm him down and you smile when the albino does stop crying and looks at you with the faintest smile. "You're going to be okay, Brother. The demons have come and you have beat them. You're safe now! Now is time of joy and celebrations! You need to embrace the new light and enjoy life! Your demons are no more as you have slayed them." You smile and he smiles back. "You're right..Ga-Gamzee...It was only a one of...I'm going to head to bed early though.." You nod at him, "If you have another nightmare, I'll be up." He nods and gives a quiet, "Yea..okay.." before he ends the call.

You're a good moirail.

**Back to being the emotional mess ==**

You end the call and hit the "Offline" icon. You didn't want to lie to him...He didn't need to know you're not okay though. You stare at Dave's icon and frown a little as the phone call comes flooding back like the tide coming in. Why did he sound so..._**disappointed**_ when you said you had to go home? You knew you didn't_ have_ to actually go but you didn't like that small burst of nerves that hit you when the idea of meeting him had hit you in the face.

You swallow down your fear and lock your Ipod. You didn't want to talk to anyone right now. You just wanted to sit in the barley lit room and **THINK**... But of course, You knew you couldn't even do _that._


	8. The phone call

**Writers comment: Whats this? AN UPDATE? BUT..ITS..ONLY BEEN A FEW DAYS! Yea. I'm not funny. I got a really horrible feeling when I was writing this. The same one when I had found out my friend had been in hospital. I believe she told me on skype when I had freaked out at her for not being on for days then demanded an answer...Or she got my moirail to call me...To be honest, I don't remember, nor do I really WANT to remember. Anyway, Enjoy.**

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**Chapter 8 - The phone call.**

**In the classroom ==**

You roll your pen back and forth on your desk as you drown out the voice of your math teacher. You honestly couldn't be _assed_ with her today. You glance at your friends either side of you then down at your note book. You'd been doodling and drawing Dave and you all day...You'd no idea why.

Speaking of Dave, You hadn't heard from him in a few days. Now this wasn't new for him to vanish but you couldn't help but get a uneasy feeling about it this time. Even Gamzee hadn't spoke about it. Just said that he hasn't heard from Dave and he's probably grounded again or working on his course work. You wished you could believe that but you knew better.

Dave and you had gotten pretty close over the past few months. You had met up again a few weeks ago and was introduced to his friend Jade. She was a nice girl, and a lot smaller than you and Dave -_ Although you were taller than Dave but oh well _- but she was friendly and very very happy by the looks of things. That was_ weeks_ ago though, And even Jade hadn't been online since a day after Dave hadn't started coming online. Jade was _ALWAYS_ online...So why wasn't she coming on? And where the fuck was Dave? You grit your teeth at the thought. You wanted answers and you wanted them**_ NOW._** Your head finds the table with a quiet **THUMP** and you let out a sigh. You only had 10 more minutes of class left but they were dragging and your brother was giving you a lift home as he was going to be working for a few days away from home. A free house usually meant Gamzee was going to around all day but you just didn't want to see him right now. You hadn't seen him since a few weeks after you met Jade. You's all went out and you ended up pretending to her boyfriend to get her abusive ex away from her. Fun phone call that was. Jade and you had created a great friendship that day and you's both had a tiny tiny_ tiny_ crush on each other for what a_ day?_ It meant nothing really. You's were just being silly. But...You's both told some very very dark secrets to each other like it wasn't even that big. Like you's had known each other your whole lives.

You shake your head from memory vill and snap your attention to the sound of the school bell. The day is over? How long were you daydreaming for? You stuff you school books and grab your note book as quick as you can, running out the doors with your friends and out to your brothers car. You didn't need to rush. You knew Kankri didn't have to be there till 5 and it was only 3:30 but you just wanted to get home ASAP and see if anyone was online to give you some damned answers. Gamzee wouldn't be out till 6 from Tech so you'd have to wait ill 7 for him to get on. You throw your bag in the back and jump in the front with your brother. You's don't talk..Never really have much to say. You do turn up the radio and sing along to a few of your favorite songs. Of course..._This_ music annoyed Kankri and he quickly shut it off when he left you at him. Well fuck him and his terrible music taste.

You click your tongue when you get inside and are quickly greeted by your two dogs and other various animals (Which were thankfully in cages.) You calm the mutts down and grab your laptop as you flop down on the sofa. Fuck getting changed, that can wait. Your dogs sit either side of you as you quickly type in your password to log in, then the one for Skype. As you wait for the slower-than-Kankri-getting-laid internet to load your bloody Skype up, you quickly become aware of just how nervous you are.

"Why am I so nervous..? I-I mean...He's just my friend...My_ best friend_..Who hasn't showing his fucking online face in a few days..." You chew your scaring in your mouth (A very bad habit of yours) as you wait, staring your Skype as it takes its sweet sweet time to load. You swear it's only doing this to hide some sort of horrible truth from you. Or to piss you off. Either works for you. Maybe both at once.  
You take in a deep breath as it loads then swear loudly as you see Dave and Jades icons both set as offline. "**FUCK!**" You yell and slam your laptop shut. Now what will you fucking do? Neither of them are answering their phones, and you've wasted your credit on calling the flaming idiots. You run a hand through your white hair and get up from the sofa, pacing the living room a few times before your overly sensitive hearing picks up the faint vibrates of your phone in your room. You race to get it and successfully trip of your art folder on your way. When you **FINALLY** get your phone, your heart slows dramatically. "Gamzee.." You whisper to yourself.

Gamzee_ NEVER_ called you unless he needed someone to talk to, you asked him to, To find out where _YOU_ are or...If something has happened to someone... You push the answer button and shakily bring the phone to your pierced ear.

"He-Hello..?" You speak and curse yourself when your voice wavers and you stutter.

"Karkat..." Is his faint reply. He sounds like he's been crying. Weird.

"Dave is in hospital...He tried to kill himself..."

**...Fuck.**


	9. It all came crashing down

**Writers comment: Hey guys! Look an update after...Some amount of time! Really sorry how this chapter turned out. I've been really busy with conventions and everyday life stuff? (Pfft more like Tumblr, and DeviantART.) This didn't come out how I would of liked it, But i'm pretty tired and it was a last-minute-before-i-go-to-bed thing. Really sorry ;~; - Kodiie/Wolfie.**

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**Chapter 9 - It all came crashing down.**

Your world, Your castle...Your empire, Has come crashing down around you. The sky is smashed and broken, The stars are dull and grey leaving you in the dark, with no light. Your little shred of light has flown away and left your empty and scared. You don't want to be alone. You don't like this...Please...Please come back...

You drop your phone to the floor and stand there in complete shock. Dave overdosed? Your Dave? You best friend _DAVE_? You feel yourself start to shake and the tears begin to spill over your eyes. You hear Gamzee on the other end of the line but you simply couldn't care at this moment of time. You stare at your wall for a little longer before picking up your phone and hitting the "End call" button. He'll understand. You throw your phone onto your bed and crawl under the covers shaking. This can't be happening! You can't be losing another friend like this!

"Not again..."

You pull the covers over your head as you shake more. You wanted to scream your lungs out. You wanted to rewind time and undo this mess. You wanted to just take their problems and fix them...But you couldn't..and you knew you couldn't...but you were going to try again anyway.

_Let's time skip a head by...lets say a week and a half!_

**== Snap and break down.**

You stare at yourself in the mirror. The bags under your eyes were getting worse but you soon learned to not care. You look away from the mirror and begin to shake slightly. "Sh-shit...I can't do this...I can't go in..." You perk your head up slightly at the sound of your brother calling your name. You swallow and tense up as you pick up your phone with shaky hands.

It was a Wednesday, The one day of the week you had begun to _hate_ with such a fiery passion it scared you. You could practically_ feel_ your social anxiety rising to the surface ever so slowly and it made you feel physically sick -Not that you could do anything about that- as your mind plagued you with thoughts of going into the tech instead of school. See, some of your year group and the one below you went to Tech on a Wednesday and do two courses through out the year. These then become two GCSE's which you guess is better than studying. You despise the place though. You had made a new best friend though! Her name was Nicole. She kept you sane...But their was just people you disliked so much in that class to the point of you just not wanting to face them and their harsh glares. Even though all you did in that class was sit and talk to your new found best friend , listen to music, Text Gamzee, Read fanfics with Nicole that left yous both mentally scarred, Drew with her, wrote your own fanfic's with her or just discussed your fandom's, Tumblr and various bands and games with her, You still just couldn't shake off the looks and whispers. Nicole distracted you with many things but she knew they were always clawing at you. They never stopped, Never loosened up and never lost their grip on you. They stayed with you all the time. Snapping at your heels wherever you went. And you had just about had enough.

You tightened your grip on your phone as Kankris voice faded into your senses. He was ranting and raving at you about something you didn't give a fuck about. You gritted your teeth as you felt the familiar feeling of tears filling your eyes and blurring your vision. You couldn't take this anymore. You were going to **_snap_**and**_ break_**. You were losing the battle. Your demons were winning.

You turn sharply to face your brother, ignoring the fact that you were already crying. "STOP IT! I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE THIS ANYMORE! JUST STOP IT RIGHT FUCKING NOW KANKRI!" You scream at the top of your lungs at him before gripping your hair as you fall onto your bed. "I can't take anymore of this shit! I'm trying to keep everyone alive and keep them safe but it's becoming too much! I'M ABOUT TO FUCKING BREAK!" You keep on crying and shouting things at...Well nothing. You can feel Kankris shocked eyes on you. You knew he was surprised by the sudden change in your mood but you don't care. After your little break down and you finally get yourself and pull in the leashes of your demons. You don't let go of your head or do you dare look at your brother.

"Karkat...What are you talking about..." Of course he would ask that. He never did bother listening to you or believe you about anything.

You swallow and stare at the ground as a few tears drip off the tip of your nose and onto the floor. "...Dave tried to commit suicide... He's cutting again...He won't stop telling me what he does either... Gamzee has been doing it too...So have a few others...They keep coming to me with their problems like i'm suppose to fix them..an-and I try! I really do Kankri! But...It's becoming too much...and i'm scared..." "In case you do something like that too." He finishes for you and you give a weak nod. He nods back, "I wish you would of told me sooner, Karkat... Get into bed...I'm sure you're exhausted." He walks out and closes the door behind him, Leaving you a shaking, emotionally exhausted mess on your bed.

"...I'm so fucking sorry Dave..." Your whisper before sleep swallows you up.


	10. I'm sorry

**Writers comment: Once again i'm shattered after a long day, but deprive myself of sleep by writing another terrible chapter. I wanted to put more but...I'm really tired. Sorry for mistakes. - Kodiie/Wolfie**

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**Chapter 10 - I'm sorry**

**== Hey fucker, wake up already!**

You blink open your red iriss and scan your room silently before you roll onto your side. "God...what time is it..?" You blindly grab around for your phone as you squint at a small note stuck to your wall in front of you.

When you finally grab the damned mobile device, you hit the unlock button and stare at the screen for a few seconds before your sleep deprived brain kicks into working mode.

"9:26 pm then, huh." You throw your iphone back onto your pillow and roll onto your back, staring up at the dull white ceiling. "I shouldn't of told him...I should of just kept my mouth shut..." You rub your eyes and sigh, "I'm so sorry Karkat.." You feel your eyes fill with tears but you quickly rub at them again. "Don't you fucking dare cry Dave Strider...S-Striders don't cry..." You curse yourself for stuttering and quickly sit up. You weren't going to let them pull you down any further. You were already drowning with no one to save you, But you weren't going to go down any quicker than you let yourself.

You swing your legs over your bed and head to your computer, quickly logging in. You spin around in your chair as you wait for your Skype to load and sign you in. You idly tap your fingers together and chew on your lip as you let your mind wonder back to your previous conversation with Karkat. "It felt like it never happened...It all just happened so...so..._quickly_..." You frown and shake your head as you hear the sound of your Skype sign in an- oh. Karkat is on.

Your face heats up slightly and you begin to get nervous all to quickly. Why are you so nervous all of a sudden? Was it because of your previous conversation...? You think it is...You hope it is.

You stare at his contact name before opening up a conversation and cringing at the messages from your previous chat. You stare at them with a guilty look before hitting the "Call" button and hoping for the best. You chew on your lip as you stare at your screen intently, almost like your life depended on this one Skype call. "It almost does..." you mutter to yourself then wonder where the hell that came from. You know he's not going to answer however, as he never answers Skype calls. And whenever he does, He's either very hyper, upset or someone needs tending to. "That kid needs to take a break...He's running himself ragged with all of these problems. And their not even his _own!_" You frown then widen your eyes as a very sleepy and depressed Karkat pops up on your screen.

"Strider, It's 9:30 in the fucking morning. What. Do. You-"

"I'm sorry." You cut him off and smile a little as you see his face change from angry to shocked and confused. You stare at your screen and take in his complexion.

The bags under his eyes have gotten worse than when you'd last seen him and his already ghostly pale skin looks even paler and greyish. His white hair is more messier than usual and you just know he has been up all night again. You frown slightly and he clears his throat. "...You don't need to be sorry..." he whispers and stares down away from the camera. You raise an eyebrow at him, "But I am sorry. I put you through hell and you didn't need that...Not after what you went through with Joseph...I'm really sorry Karkat... I didn't mean to hurt you..." You trail off and shift in your seat and as you fiddle with your fingers. You don't want to look up at him and you just know he's staring at his screen taken back by how vulnerable you're being. _You haven't even put on your shades. _

You swallow and look up at your screen and yep, you were right. He looks shocked again. "I'm sorry for everything Karkat...I'm so so sorry...I know when I signed in after not being on in a few days and you demanded to know where I was for the past 4 days, that I couldn't lie to you... But i also didn't want to tell you why I was in hospital... So I got Gamzee to tell you as I was too much of a coward to face you." You can feel the tears but you wipe them away on the back of your sleeve. "I'm sorry..." You repeat those two little words over and over again till he speaks up again.

"...I'm coming to get you..." You stare at your screen, locking eyes with the other.

"I'm coming up to get you, Dave. And i'm going to hug you and never let go. I'm going to help you get better...You can do this. _WE_ can do this." He offers you a smile and you smile shakily back.

"I'll meet you at Central at 1. Be there or i'm getting Jade to come down with Bec." He threatens and you smile again. "I'll be there..." You whisper and he makes a small heart with his hands. You feel yourself blush but find yourself making the sign back till he ends the call.

You sit back in your chair and stare at the wall behind your computer. Your heart is beating like mad as it threatens to burst out of your rib cage and your head has went completely blank. You have an odd feeling stirring in your chest and you bring your hand to your racing heart, swallowing hard as you let the truth spill out of your mouth.

"I...I think I like him..."

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**I'm off to bed omw.**


	11. Hello Karkat

**Writers comment: . HELLO! Wow it's been..a****_ long_**** time! How have you all been these past few weeks or months? I've been pretty good actually! Life has only gotten better and better! Sadly though, I might not be able to continue this story due to the real life event...taken a turn for the worse..But! I might just twist the plot line (pfft there isnt one anymore im sorry) a good bit and change the upcoming chapters. This has actually been sitting in my files since the last update and i only added a few bits more there now due to me nothing being able to sleep again. Hopefully this doesn't change too much throughout the upcoming/posted chapters as i feel its very...fast paced? Then again, the event went much quicker than this but the heart ache was slow and dragged out. Any who, enjoy! - Kodiie/Wolfie**

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_Chapter 11 - "Hello, Karkat."_

You tap on your desk as you stare at your screen, awaiting your moirail to reply. Once again you have been up all night and day without any sleep just so your moirail could bitch and moan to you. He knows you're not 'well' at the moment but that's not stopping him any time soon. It only gets worse when he tries to story top your problems that you come to him with.

You grit your teeth as he replies with another stupid story top and ignores your plees for help. "Asshole..." You mutter as you type your reply back. No matter how many times you tell him about him not helping you and that he should be as this friendship is a two way thing, He comes up with the same "I'm sorry it won't ever happen again. I'm always here when you need me and i'll listen." Liar. You sigh as you wait another reply then you feel your heart beat stop as you see a certain someone logs into Skype. You stare at the name for a little while till it disappears and you see your own Skype start to flash as someone messages you. "Dave..."

You swallow a lump in your throat and stitch up the mouth of the demon in the back of your mind as it whispers the words of the devil into your ear. You frown a little as he begins to ring you and pick up after a few seconds.

"Strider, It's 9:30 in the fucking morning._ What. Do. You-_" You start but he quickly cuts you off with a simple "I'm sorry." You blink and stare at the image of him as your normal angry face drops into a confused and shocked one. You stare at him still and you just know hes studying you. You don't like when people do that. It makes you feel highly uncomfortable. You rub your wrists and he clears his throat, causing you to snap your head back from the voices and to him again. A frown forms on your lips and then you whisper "...You don't need to be sorry..." You look away from the camera as your demon laughs at you. You don't know why he was sorry. That word had lost its meaning and became just an everyday word that people used to try and save their sorry asses. No one ever meant it anymore but... You'd like to think that Dave did...Even though he didn't do anything to_ you._

He raises an eyebrow at you and you're really beginning to wish that this call had never happened in the first place and that you have just passed out. But of course, This was reality and this was all happening at 9:36 on a cold cold Saturday morning in Northern Ireland. "But I am sorry. I put you through hell and you didn't need that...Not after what you went through with Jason and Joseph...I'm really sorry Karkat... I didn't mean to hurt you..." He trails off as he shifts in his seat and you freeze up at the mention of your old friend and that monster. You stare at the screen again and you can feel that small shred of pity pierce your heart as you do.**_ "He's not wearing his shades..."_** you think to yourself and your demon actually shuts up to look with you. It leers over your shoulder and grabs your laptop screen, staring into the red irises of the boy on the other side. The shocked expression on your face doesn't falter and you can feel the demon grow slightly weaker when he speaks up once more. And this time, You know he is being serious.

"I'm sorry for everything Karkat...I'm so so sorry...I know when I signed in after not being on in a few days and you demanded to know where I was that I couldn't lie to you... But I also didn't want to tell you why I was in hospital... So I got Gamzee to tell you as I was too much of a coward to face you." You feel tears prick the corner of your eyes and you can see them threatening to spill from Dave's as well but he quickly wipes them onto the back of his sleeve._ Strider's don't cry_. "I'm sorry..." He repeats the words to you over and over the small shred of pity rips your heart more and more with each word that leaves his precious mouth. You don't like these words. You don't like the way he's on the verge of crying and you certainly don't like that _you_ have caused _this._

"...I'm coming to get you..." He locks his fiery eyes with yours and now its his turn to look shocked.

"I'm coming up to get you, Dave. And i'm going to hug you and never let go. I'm going to help you get better...You can do this. **WE** can do this." You smile as real as you can hoping that he doesn't see that's its fake, which thankfully he doesn't and gives you a shaky smile back.

"I'll meet you at Central at 1. Be there or i'm getting Jade to come down with Bec." You threaten him and he smiles again. "I'll be there..." He says and you make a small heart with your hands. Your heart skips a beat when you see him blushing and he does the small sign back. You smile again and end the call, falling back in your chair with a grin that could take down the devil. The shred lodged in your heart sinks further in and you can't help but feel like you are going to find your light again.

You jump off the train as it comes to a stop at Belfast central and practically run up the escalator to go get Dave. You grab your ticket out of your pocket and flash it in front of the inspector before running past him and wrapping Dave up in the biggest hug you could manage. Jade is with him, Grinning like an idiot. You feel him hug you back and you whisper a quick, "It's okay...I'm here now..." in his ear before letting the poor boy go. You give Jade a hug as well then you's all head out, Dave links his arm with yours and you blush lightly. Jade giggles beside you and yous engage in a quick conversation about School. You don't dare tell her the real reason you haven't been in past few weeks. She listens carefully and then asks you a few questions about your GCSE art course. You tell her how your art teachers hated your work and had even thrown out both your books to which Dave pipes in with "I'll make the bastards pay for that." You shoosh pap and hug him as you's walk and he calms down again. Jade smiles at yous softly and you's all walk to Botanic.

The day goes by like it always does when you are in Belfast. You's mess around, eat and just be...happy. But when the time comes for you to go home and you're sat on the train listening to your music as your demons poke and prod at you, do your thoughts finally skip over the day and to Dave.**_ "Why am I even thinking about you...? You said you're okay...I made sure you're okay...so why do i want to run back and hug you tight?"_** You frown at your own thoughts and quickly dismiss them as you turn up your music. You write it up as your demon messing with your thoughts so you push said thoughts into the depths of your mind, locking the file and throwing the key away.

As your train pulls into the station, you stand then get off. Flashing your ticket to the inspector as he gives you a quick smile and lets you past. You walk down the stairs and out the doors as you ignore all the half drunk whores and chavs on the seats, watching everyone like starved dogs. You shove your hands into your hoodie pockets as the cold air hits you harder than Terezi hits you with her cane. Sometimes you hated how close Bangor was to the sea. You sigh quietly as you pass more starved dog looking chavs and cross the two roads before walking into the park. You lift your head and stare up through the trees at the dark sky, a small smile graces your features and you suddenly feel safe. Stars dance and spin across and around the sky like people in a ballroom dance. You smile again before dropping your gaze back to the path keeping your head low as a few people stagger past you in search of a drink to quench their thirst. "Not that it will work." You add.

20 minutes later, you're walking into your empty, cold, dark home. You can't hear anything but your pets and the excited tails hitting the wooden floors as you open your living room door to greet your two dogs, Mouse and Twix. You pet them before taking off your bag and dropping it down beside the small table before you let your body fall limp on the sofa. Your head drops back as your eyes settle on the white ceiling above you. Your music was long abandoned on the walk home but you can't understand why you can't hear anything else...just...white noise? No.. It's not white noise...What is that...? You go to turn your head but quickly find yourself paralyzed and unable to move. You try to flick your eyes to look around the room but they seem to be locked on something bleeding across your ceiling. You stare at it and you feel your heart beat quicken as it reaches your full line of sight.

_"Hello, Karkat~" it coos at you and you feel your blood run cold._


End file.
